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I’m Dr. Sarah Kyle - therapist, founder, and lifelong student of human relationships.
I’ve spent over 25 years helping people build better relationships - romantic, familial, and everything in between. And here’s the truth most of us don’t want to hear: it’s not that love is broken… it’s that most of us were never taught how to do it.
Like a lot of people, I learned about relationships the hard way - through attachment, heartbreak, hope, and a lot of trial and error. I came out later in life, dated, committed, started over, and stayed long enough to see how deeply our patterns follow us no matter who we love.
What I noticed, both as a therapist and as a human, was this:
the same emotional dynamics show up everywhere.
Fear of abandonment.
Fear of being seen.
Defensiveness.
Shame.
People-pleasing.
Avoidance.
The longing to feel chosen.
That’s why I created Dateable AF — not as just a dating brand, but as a place to talk honestly about how we connect, protect ourselves, and try again. Because once you understand your patterns, everything changes: who you choose, how you show up, and what you’re willing to tolerate.
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And I’m Rachel Howell, researcher with a lifelong focus on how people learn, love and attach.
I bring more than 30 years of research and training experience to Dateable AF, but what really drives my work is curiosity about how humans form emotional bonds and why those bonds can feel so complicated.
Like many people, I came to this field through my own relationships, including queer relationships. What surprised me over time was how universal the patterns are. Whether we are talking about partners, friends, or family, the same dynamics show up again and again. Fear of abandonment. Fear of being seen. Defensiveness. Longing for connection. Struggling to feel safe while staying close.
Alongside Sarah, I help translate research into language people can actually use. We talk about nervous systems, attachment, and emotional safety in ways that feel practical instead of clinical. Our goal is simple. To help people understand themselves better so their relationships can feel less confusing and more grounded.
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